Skip to main content

Exploring

Loneliness is a funny thing. I don't know how it works for you, but for me, it has very little to do with the people I am with or the life I am living.

 Sometimes I am rushing here and there, going to classes and dances and spending time with my friends, and still it appears.

 Sometimes I am in a favorite place among favorite people, and I take a moment just to watch them, and I feel the alone inside of me, quietly reminding me that it is still there, despite all the happiness I am surrounded with. 

 Sometimes it comes when I spend too much time alone and the dark side claws its way out. 

 Sometimes I'm in over my head and I realize that under all this stress and hectic life, the loneliness is still there.

 Sitting quietly in the corner. Watching me, as I watch others when I feel it.

 Sometimes the loneliness comes when one would least expect it, like right after I do service, it washes over me with the fulfillment. Times like those, and a few other times, I welcome it, recognizing it as a real part of myself, enjoying its taste for no other reason than that it is familiar. It's a part of me.

 It comes from feeling "other."

 I don't much enjoy being lonely. And there aren't very many people on the face of this earth that can make me feel unlonely. Usually, when I start to get lonely, it has to do with not being able to connect on that level with them. They get busy, and so do I, and I sometimes don't get to talk to them as often as I would like.

 Those people are special. They help me remember that I'm not an island on my own: I am a human, just like they are.
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Wanderers in a Strange Land

"If I find in myself desires which nothing in this world can satisfy, the only logical explanation is that I was made for another world." ~C.S. Lewis   Recently, it hit me in a totally new way, and has continued to do so, that we as human beings really are other-worldly creatures. We are not made for this world. We are wanderers in a strange land, poor wayfaring strangers here. We're equipped for this world, but it's not our natural habitat. What makes me think this? There are many things that have brought me to this conclusion. Let me list a few. Desires which nothing in this world can satisfy. There are so many of these, are there not? We hate goodbyes, whether that goodbye is temporary or long-term; we want to be with our friends and loved ones forever. We also want friendships that go so much deeper than is humanly possible. I don't know if I can describe this desire, but hopefully you've felt it and you know what I'm talking about. We want to...
8 comments
Read more

This is for You

My dear friend, I'm about to tell you something important, something true. Something I know from the bottom of my heart. it is not a painful truth, it's a happy, awesome one. It will make your life better when you know it, too.  But you are not going to believe me. You have self-conditioned to disbelieve what it is I am going to tell you. It's not that it would be painful to accept. It would, in fact, be wonderful. You don't accept it because you can't see it. But faith is believing in things we can't see. So I am asking you to suspend your disbelief for a minute and be willing to believe what I am about to tell you, because I KNOW it's true. And here it is. You... are beautiful. I'm serious. You have no idea. Girl, you're amazing! I know you can't see it in yourself, but even the most drop-dead, unbelievably beautiful people can't see it in themselves. And I'm telling you, you are so beautiful! Don't you dare disbelieve me! ;)...
5 comments
Read more

The Path

I feel like one of those characters at the end of an epic movie who finishes their quest in the exact same place as it started. The place looks the same, and so do other people, but they know they will never be the same. They cannot be.  The girl stands, looking up at the place where it all began, knowing she is not the same. She takes a deep breath. Runs her fingers through her hair. Sighs. But instead of end credits rolling, she turns around and realizes there's a path before her feet. It's foggy and twisty, but it's a path . She doesn't know where it goes. She takes one last look over her shoulder at all that she can see of her previous adventure. Then she turns and, without looking back, follows the path. She has no choice; she can't go back the way she came. So she goes forward, into the fog. She knows that somewhere along this path, someday, she will come to a place... and look up at it... and go inside... only to come out a different person. And she'll ...
6 comments
Read more