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Self-Possession

Inspiration always hits me at the most inconvenient of times. For example, while I’m studying for a math test.

You know, I could be the popular girl. Heaven knows I could if I wanted to, especially if I were to vie for attention... If I acted more Extroverted all the time... If I wore brighter clothes... etc..

But that’s not who I want to be. I don’t want to be the popular girl who always has the attractive boys following her around… I mean, if that happens, it happens. Whatever (I guess?). But I’m not going to sacrifice anything to make that happen. Because what’s more important to me is that I can be friends with that girl nobody pays attention to. And I can act like a dork. And I can go out without my makeup on, or wearing an ENORMOUS sweatshirt. And I can have geek-outs whenever I feel like it. And I don’t have to put on a show. There is too much pressure when you’re popular. Gotta keep the face up. But I want to live authentically. I want to live beautifully. And living beautifully isn’t living perfectly, it’s living realistically. That means that sometimes I am afraid. Sometimes I make mistakes. It also means that, if there’s something that excites me, I’m not going to hide that. I want to give the world myself, because really, that’s all I have to give. I can’t be anyone else. Any meaningful contribution I make to the world will be unique, and any unique contribution I make to the world will be stifled if I’m too busy trying to be the popular girl.

I believe popularity is a fickle thing, but respect is stable. That is what is more important to me--that others respect me. I don’t really care if they like me. I don’t care if they see me as the geek or as the silly dork or what, as long as they know that I am not compromising anything important to impress them. As long as they know I don’t break my rules. I play on my own terms.

Those are the people that I respect the most--those that know their boundaries and their rules, and they stay within them. They have self-imposed bedtimes, they have different opinions, quiet though they may be, and they stick to them. They don’t cave under peer pressure. They don’t spend much time aimlessly browsing the internet, because they know what they like better. They didn’t like that popular book or movie because x, y, z, but it’s OK if you do. They get that.
They don’t need popularity. They have something better.

People like that don’t mind if they aren’t the prettiest or most handsome, if they don’t have all the girls/guys following them around, if everyone of their own gender is jealous of them. They don’t worry over what they look like, if they’re wearing stylish clothes or if they got to do their makeup/hair that morning. If they fall down in public, well hey, that’s embarrassing, but they’re going to laugh it off and not be mortified. After all, it happens to everyone.

Those people are special because their self-worth comes from something you can’t see. Their self-worth doesn’t come from how others see them, but how they see themselves and how God sees them. They are masters of themselves. They often seem more stable than the rest of us, and older in a way, even if they’re really younger. Self-possession is a powerful thing.

Those are the people I respect. Those are the people I look up to, and those are the people I emulate.

Thank you to all you self-possessors out there. You inspire me to an enormous degree.

...Back to math.
 
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Comments

  1. UnknownMarch 13, 2014 at 12:06 PM

    Dude, yes! This is so incredibly good and I needed to "hear" this! Thanks! You rock :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. KimberlyMarch 13, 2014 at 9:24 PM

    This is probably one of my favorite posts ever. <3 Also, I miss you. Lots. Let's talk.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. CatherineMarch 13, 2014 at 10:45 PM

      Wow, I'm glad. That's saying something, too, haha! <3 And, I miss you too. Yes please, let's. There is too little Simm in my life.

      Delete

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