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Why I Run

Eew. Worst idea ever. Why am I going running... again? My lungs burn as the searing, chilly air travels through my thirsty throat. My complaining body feels heavy with each step. My shoulders feel tight (not that that's anything new, but...). I look up to see how far I've gone, then have to remind myself to watch the ground so I don't get discouraged. Mind over matter. Suck air in. Blow air out. Keep breathing. Why did I think this was a good idea? I don't even like running. 

Why did I go running in the first place? 
The answer, part 1: I have so many runner friends, and they talk about it with such passion, that I figure, "it should feel good, right? (Granted, not all their stories are about how good it felt--there are those stories where they're like, "...then I threw up. I'm pretty sure I was crying for about an hour after that", but that's not what I'm talking about.) So my subconscious mind thinks, "it'll feel great! Let's go!"

The answer, part 2: I run because I can not think when I run. I don't know where my mind is--I never remember afterwards what I thought about the whole time--but what I do know is, whatever thoughts or feelings or dilemmas are torturing me while I'm in the house, they will go away as soon as I pick up my feet. 

The answer, part 3: It's a little-known Catherine quirk that I really, really like to go fast. It's actually kind of a miracle that I don't speed allllll the time. ;)

The answer, part 4: I have a seldom-acted-on desire to work out a lot.

So there are my reasons. But obviously they don't stand up to burning lungs and a pounding heart. ;) It's not enough to keep me going. So I told you why I leave the house to run; but why do I finish?

I finish to put my mind over matter. I finish to put the eventual over the immediate. I finish to prove to myself that I can do what is painful even when it would be so easy for me to stop. There are times when I will give up and start to walk. But then I remind myself, mind over matter. This has become my running motto:


I stop when I'm done. I stop when I'm done. I don't stop when I'm tired. My body can't beat me. I stop when I'm done.

I don't know how long I'll keep running. I might just give it up forever sometime soon, if I decide it's not worth it. 

But for now, I run. 

I run to learn that I am more than I think I am.


 

Comments

  1. KimberlyOctober 16, 2013 at 9:25 PM

    **applauds you** Good for you!! Haha...I....dislike running as well....but erm.... yeah you're a better person than me in that aspect....... regardless of the fact that my dance teacher would kill me if I ran.... haha but I really do applaud you! And I shall cheer from the sidelines. <3

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    Replies
    1. CatherineOctober 17, 2013 at 6:16 PM

      Haha! Thanks. (; And you're a better person than me in the aspect that you exercise. 'Cause dance counts as exercise. Butyeah, I don't exercise... like at all... soyeah. Haha! So this is me applauding you and cheering from the sidelines, too. (;

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