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There's too much to feel

Warning: Emotional Dump Will Ensue. Please Abort Reading This Post.

 There's too much to feel. Too, too, too much. 

 I miss living in a home, with real walls instead of cinderblocks. I miss having bookshelves full of dearly beloved books that I can stick my nose in and smell, just because I love them. Books that I can write in the margins and draw in and mark and read at my own pace. 

 I miss bright, warm, comfortable, relaxed days full of family and love and family love and stuff. I miss having things to eat and plenty of time to myself. I miss feeling well and un-stressed and pretty and relaxed all at once. There are so many people I miss.

I want to curl up in a blanket on a faded blue couch much older than me, by closed windows with open blinds as the rain falls against them, and just sleep.

 I guess I just kinda miss my childhood.

 I miss my simple pleasures: blackberry juice on my fingers or the smell of strawberry fields in May. Dirt between my toes. Rain on my skin. Sunlight. Freedom. Love. There aren't enough of these things in my life.

 Can I have time just to read and read and read whatever I want? Time to just be with those I love, shoulder to shoulder, leaning on each other, or arms around each other. Can I just have time to lay in the dirt or on a rock and just... relax? I want time to be full, well-rested, relaxed, and chill-ified. 

 I miss just being Catherine. Plain, simple, happy, beautiful, flirtatious, deep, carefree, loving, affectionate, confident, independent, thinking, feeling, living, thriving Catherine.
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Comments

  1. UnknownApril 24, 2014 at 11:56 PM

    I love you Catherine! I'm sorry your having a hard time. I can't even imagine how hard it would be to move across the country and enter the foreign land of college. I wish you the best and I will pray for you :)

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    Replies
    1. CatherineApril 25, 2014 at 12:00 AM

      Thank you, lovely. :) It was just a ...feeling night, I guess? It hasn't been THAT hard, just a bit wearing. If that makes sense. But I can't turn down prayers. Love you! Thanks for always reading what I write! :3

      Delete
  2. UnknownApril 25, 2014 at 12:17 AM

    Yeah, no that totally makes sense. I get those sometimes too :) But still, it has to be hard. Thank you for writing what you write! You are incredibly talented and I am often inspired! It's so worth it :D lufs you darling! :)

    ReplyDelete

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